Monday, October 17, 2011

31 Days to a Better Me day 17

WAHOO!! we are more than half way to being over with the 31 days series!! 

Okay, now back to what I started this post to talk about.  Let me set the scene for todays post.

Me:  Angel, where are your shoes?

5 year old:  I don't know?

Me:  well, you're going to need to find those so you can eat breakfast!

Now my first instinct is to franticly search the house looking for the lost shoes, grumbling about how he is so irresponsible. 

He goes to look for his shoes.

5 y/o:  (growing more frustrated, yelling, clinched fists) I am going to miss breakfast!!

Me:  I am so sorry sweety, but your shoes are your responsibility.  Where did you leave them?

5 y/o:  I don't know!!  (walking away, yelling something indistinct)

He finally found his shoes, and all is well right?  Not exactly.

Me:  Angel?  Where is your lunch bag?  I can't make you a lunch if I don't have a lunch bag.  Better go find it.

Picture a very angry, hungry, yelling five year old.  You pretty much get it. 

Ultimately, he missed breakfast, and had to eat hot lunch (he hates hot lunch).  Which sounds really mean right?  But the bigger point is that I taught him a lesson in responsibility.  I am normally the kind of mother that would do everything for my kids.  They would normally never leave the house without breakfast or with mismatched clothes.  But I have been taking a parenting class recently that pointed out to me that though that may work in the short term, long term I am not preparing them for the real world.  I have to let them own their own problems.

I went into school and talked to his teacher and explained the story.  I was thinking that she would think that I was a horrible mother.  How could I let him go to school with no breakfast?  Instead, she congratulated me on making my son be responsible for himself.  She assured me that he would have a snack after morning recess, so he would not starve to death.

Ultimately my job as a mother is to give my boys the tools that they need to survive in the big world.  Not to hover over them and make sure that everything is perfect for them.  Instead of grumbling about my son not being responsible, I made him a little more responsible.

Just to let you know, he puts his lunch bag on the counter first thing when he walks in the door.  His shoes are put in his closet, and if they are not he looks for them himself. 

By making him a better person I make myself a better person.  I taught my kid something!  

If this is your first time here, Thanks for coming!!  Feel free to leave me a comment, I am very responsible about reading them!


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